Thursday, January 26, 2017

So Begins the Spring Semester!

Ok, so really, it began like a week ago, but last week was a little crazy for me. The first week of the semester is ALWAYS crazy in general, though this time it was particularly so due to medical b.s. I had my appointment with another specialist last Monday, and she wanted to do a bunch of tests, which required a trip to the outpatient hospital. All of this really threw me for a loop so my first week was a big wonky. I hope students didn't notice too much. Fortunately, that's now behind me and I feel like I'm actually in the swing of things.

This spring, my schedule is actually quite flexible, which is nice. I'm teaching two hybrid online courses, one fully online course, and one "traditional" course. I'm on campus twice a week, Mondays and Wednesdays, though it's for the entire day. So far, it's working pretty nicely. On my days at home, I grade, plan, and, surprisingly, I've actually been able to write, albeit a little bit. 

So, in theory, this semester shouldn't be too crazy. I should have some time to travel, write, and have a semblance of balance. All good things. 

I feel like I'm on edge a bit, though, in some serious limbo. I'm waiting for word from the PhD programs I applied to. I'm waiting for word on a job. I'm waiting to move forward on my book. I'm waiting for the summer to begin my residency. I'm waiting for the results of my biopsy. All of these things are outside of my control. I've always been really uncomfortable with uncertainty, and it seems that's what my life is made of right now.

Last weekend, I was running with my dad, explaining my conundrum. "I feel like the future holds so many unknowns," I said. My dad said that I should look at these unknowns as opportunities. With the exception of my biopsy of course, the rest of those unknowns are all kind of exciting, or they could be anyway if things shake out the way I'd like them to. It's hard to keep that frame of mind, but I think particularly vital for me. 

For now, I think the best thing for me to do is immerse myself in my work -- both my students and my writing. Easier said than done. 


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