So it took me awhile... but I think I'm finally ready to get this new year going. Hello 2011!
I'm doing a lot of reflecting lately, trying to step back and just think about who I am - at the core of my being. Aside from all the other 'stuff' that goes on in my life, who am I and where the hell am I going?
So, I was reading book of Kells, one of my personal favorite poetry blogs because she's always so honest and inspiring at the same time, and she had a few little writing prompts that helped me. I'll start with that.
What creative projects to work on this year?
Absolutely 100% focus must be directed towards finishing my thesis. All other noise must perish. I've actually been chisiling away at it, little by little. I'm on page 14 of my critical intro and have about 6 pages to finish there. As for the creative part, it actually keeps shrinking but it's becoming more polished - something I'm more proud of. It's at 51 pages. So that's a grand total of 65 pages completed. Not bad.
Once my thesis is completed, I plan to continue editing it and prepping it for submission to publishers. I'm really hoping to be able to do this by May. That would be nice :-)
Another goal - do more readings! I need to get more involved in the poetry community. Lately I've been letting myself create excuses. No more.
What is taking time away from my writing?
Ugh, too many things. I love to blame work, in particular - my 2nd job. I spend so much mental energy preparing for my Saturday classes that it leaves just the scraps for poetry. This is on the chopping block. It might need to go - but not until I've put in a full year.
World of Warcraft.
Exercise - believe it or not - gets in the way of my writing. Running is becoming a new obsession of mine. The university as an indoor track and so now all the sudden running isn't scary. I'm not giving this one up. Writing just needs to take priority. Running can help me to take a break.
My sickness and the general atmosphere of saddness gets in the way of my writing big time. What to do about this? I'm really not sure :-/
Who supports you, and who doesn't?
My family supports me, Bruno supports me, my community of writers is great. BUT... sometimes, although it's not intentional, family drama, sadness, depression, ect in other people gets in the way of me writing. How selfish, when someone I love is in pain I only think about how it affects me. But it does. And I don't know what to do about that, either. Move away? Hell, this actually doesn't just get in the way of me writing, but me LIVING, GROWING as a human being. Sometimes I just wish I could run away from everyone, from everything, and just be myself - not a person in relation to others.
What can I do differently this year?
Geez. Ok, well here goes - my new and improved Katie for 2011.
Katie will regiment her writing. She will write for at least an hour everyday - not including blogging.
Katie will learn to block out negative feelings and influences, banish them from my thought processes. How will I do this? I don't know. I have a year to figure that out.
Katie has already given up alcohol. It's bad for my health, and I'm beginning to think maybe all of my health problems are related to alcohol.
Katie is going to not go insane. She will stop referring to herself in the 3rd person.
Katie will continue working towards her goals, even if those goals change. She will always have goals. Amen.