Napowrimo 15

I'm behind. Bleh. Trying to get caught up, one feverish poem at a time. Yesterday's prompt was to write about doubles, pairs.

The Woman in the Mirror

Her watching eyes are always on me. They police

Every move I make. I see her face

At the most inopportune times.

This morning, while strolling down the street

Past a line of coffee and gelato shops,

The sweet smells of espresso wafting out,

She reminds me to suck in my stomach,

To take up less space. While at the museum

This afternoon, my palms on a cool glass case,

my eyes fixated on some old newspaper article

about Ma Ferguson, her scowling face,

and then there’s mine, my eyes wide,

my mouth agape, my hair a wilderness

my fingers immediately work to tame,

a smile unfolds to soften my face.

I see her while I’m waiting in line,

And I glance down at my phone,

The black screen, my chin almost double.

She reminds me to stand up straight,

Extend the neck like a lamb, sacrificed,

waiting for a set of teeth to sink in.

As I dress for the evening, I stand

In front of the full length mirror

Face her scrutinizing eyes as she reminds me

What colors and cuts make me look

Most like a fragile flower waiting to be plucked,

Blending in with the landscape, quiet, lovely.

When I awake in the middle of the night,

half-drunk with sleep and dream, and I begin

to wander off into the depths of my own wishes

and desires, when I’m just about ready to believe

My sole purpose in life is something other

Than being seen, a moving object of beauty,

Her face reminds me as I stumble in the bathroom,

Flip on the light switch, gaze into her eyes.

This is how the world sees me.

I can’t escape it. No woman can.