Katie's Blog

You know what? I've been blogging almost an entire year! Yayy!! As of tomorrow, my blog will be one year old. I've done a lot in a year. Ok, so the past few summer months have been rather uneventful. But right now I'm going to rewind a bit, and revel in the successes and struggles that the past year has brought me. And because I'm so damn goal oriented (to a fault, remember...) I might even set some goals for year two of blogging. I started this blog last September as a means to keep myself accountable. What do you mean, Katie? Well - I figured that if I blogged and posted my tidbits of writing, that it would be a motivation for me to show the world (mainly myself I'm my most avid reader) that I am actually writing and actively participating in the poetry world. This blog was going to be my publicly poetic face, with its pimples and all! :) Aww... And then the blog started evolving a little. Instead of posting my writing exercises, I started blogging about my activi...

Doh! Another one of my shining moments... Remember that poetry contest I entered on Friday? For Ante Review? Ok, well... on Saturday I got an email from them. Editor wanted my poem, because I FORGOT TO ATTACH IT TO EMAIL. Ok, so that was a serious brain fart. But at least they were kind enough to request it again. I am grateful (though I look like a serious goof. But I am a serious goof.). Other news? Today's the first day of class at UTPA. Ah yes, traffic was at a crawl, parking was a battle, and the campus is alive with wide eyed students. I'm taking one poetry workshop class, and I'm starting my thesis hours. I briefly talked with my professor last week at the college convocation, and I'm feeling pretty good about 'things' so far. I know the next 8 or so months are going to be a bit of a struggle, but I'll get through them and thrive. That's what I do best! Well... that and making airheaded mistakes.

Yay! Ante Review is holding a prose poetry contest. I only have one prose poem, but I submitted it anyway because I love that poem :) Maybe I'll be $75 richer! But then again... maybe not. No other news today. Phew! So glad its Friday

Its so true, too. You see, I've been having a beautifully productive week this week. I've written TWO poems in two days. They've come out pretty good too, needing only a little editing here and there but for the most part they were born in one good piece. Yay! So I was really looking forward to coming into the office today and sitting down at my keyboard to type out number 3. And a little thought snuck into my head, "Katie," it said, "you've already passed your goal for the week!" And I thought to myself, huh... yeah I have haven't I? Since then, I haven't been able to write. You see, I'm so goal oriented. Who ever heard of being too goal oriented? But that's me, I do it to a fault. I do everything to a fault. Geez. No wonder I haven't had any pubs lately. But in better news~ I HAVE been arranging my thesis! I've been adding my latest poems, thinking of names for my sections, ect. Its very exciting work. Right now maybe my min...

Today I've been thinking of Baptism. I regret never getting Baptised as a child. Wait, let's rewind a little and I'll give you a (very brief!) story on my 'spiritual journey'. I come from a completely non-religious home. Bunch of heathens! Nah - I had a pretty privledged childhood but it was devoid of religion. But I've always been drawn to Christianity, since as far back as I can remember I've 'talked to God'. I'm weird. I know. So when I was about... oh... eight years old I started going to church with a Mexican family. I didn't (and still really don't) know much Spanish. But they wanted to take me to church (their youngest girl and I were best of friends) and I was grateful, so I'd sit through the Spanish services and listen as best I could. The mom, I still remember her vividly, was Carmen. And one day she took me into the pastor's office and asked me if I'd like to acceptamos Jesus Cristo into my heart. And of course I ex...

So... I'm being a complete doof, I know. But I just can't seem to decide which pieces to submit to a local newspaper. Part of me (the pessimist) is saying, "Submit your very best work, because you're not going to find another place for it and its the only way to even get published in this newspaper" and the optimist in me is saying, "Don't submit your best work! It will probably be accepted by a reputable journal and then what are you going to do!?" So, now I'm stressing over it. I sure do think a whole lot more than I write or submit. No wonder I have so few pubs... I think I need to sleep on this one.. maybe ask bruno what to do. He knows nothing about poetry, but somehow always has the best advice.

Yesterday, another plunge. Submitted to Waccamaw~ took very little time, and I was way overthinking it. I had been going to the website with the intention of submitting just about every day. And yesterday - I finally did it. Phew~! Let's hope for a response soon :) :) :) Other news? Not so much. I don't know I've been feeling pretty dry poetically lately. I saw a dog get run over yesterday and it disturbed me a great deal. Whenever I sat down to write yesterday I couldn't get the gruesome picture out of my head. Why did I have to slow down and look? Because I'm weird like that. Ugh. But then I was thinking - this image is haunting me for a reason. Maybe the only way THROUGH it is to write about it. And then I can move on to better things. Maybe? Maybe.

So I'm reading Ordinary Genius, right? My goal was to get through the book and do the writing exercises this summer, but I had taken some time off because - well - sometimes I don't feel all that inspired. Actually, this summer I've been pretty sick and I know that's not an excuse but I'll use it as one. Today I was feeling pretty inspired (still not feeling WELL though, so see, there's proof that its not an excuse), and picked up the book. Low and behold - a chapter on... Pain! Perfect! :) The exercise was to write a pantoum about your pain body, to invision it as an object and write about it. Cool! I don't know why, but I always picture my pain as a black olive. I LOVE to eat olives, but I'm always afraid of the little pits. So I buy them shredded or sliced, even though really I enjoy eating them whole. I've tried to write pantoums in the past but I always give up frustrated. But this time I saw it through, and actually... it's pretty ok! I...

So yesterday I took the giant leap and registered for my thesis hours. Its real. Its finally happening. I'm actually seeing the light at the end of this MFA tunnel... Nine months or so from now, if all goes according to plan - I'll get my masters degree. And so what does this mean? For me, loads of stress. I'm freaking out. First of all, thesis horror stories. Gwahh... I hope everything goes smoothly for me. But already its been a little rocky. Boo. And secondly - I'm really afraid that my work won't be taken seriously. I mean, is it really MFA quality? I'm not so sure sometimes. And then there's this... ok so I graduated, now what? In case you haven't noticed by now, unknowns make me REALLY nervous. I mean REALLY nervous. And this is one big fat unknown. Ah well... its ok. I just need a little luck and some faith things will turn out.. right?!!?

Pictures as promised from the Ambrosia Poetry Reading, August 5th 2010. What a wonderful night! Here's me showing off Among the Mariposas AC or not, we enjoyed ourselves. There's me, reading my poem "Upon Hearing Bruno Speak Spanish". I tried to embarress him by calling him out, but it didn't work. I forgot how much Bruno likes attention. Here's Lady Mariposa, friend and fellow MFA student at Panam. I like this picture because you can see my brother, Poops. He's the big white guy in the back. Hah! Next next to him is my good friend and upcoming poet, Nallely. Also pictured is Daniel (Poet Mariachi!) up in the front, and Laura (another MFAer). Here I am reading That Sort of Woman, a poem about me trying to add power steering fluid to my car. Yes, I'm making a ridiculous face but a girl's gotta annunciate. My supportive fam! There's Bruno, me next to him (you can barely see me), my daddy-o, my mom (can't see her hardly either since she'...

Ok, so last night was pretty neat. I convinced Bruno at accompany me to Ambrosia last night for the open mic. I brought with me some new poems, had in my belly a delicious homemade dinner and glass of good old fashioned courage ;-) That always makes readings a little bit easier. We got there a little late. My uber supportive parental units were there already. Aww :) Unfortunately, the AC wasn't working in the coffee shop and well, that coupled with south texas heat and my mom... they don't mix. They had to leave before I got to the mic. I was one of the last poets to read, anyway. La erika introduced me, and... she made me sound all badass! :-D She mentioned my book and my award, and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I read That Sort of Woman, a new poem Eros, and Upon Hearing Bruno Speak Spanish. I even embarressed Bruno a little bit, calling him out to the crowd. But he likes it ;-) I like ambrosia because it's small and intimate. I didnt' feel real nervous goi...

Hurray! I've reached 100 posts! Where does my 100th post find me? Why, doing what I do very best. Wasting time :-D I had a major breakthrough yesterday on thesis quest. I've tenetively structured my mess of poems around three major themes - tasting womanhood, tasting love, tasting pleasure, and tasting language/culture. I know, they're so cliche. Ugh. Whatever. Maybe it's the story of the body, how it grows, tangles roots, reaches for the sun, and digs deep into the earth. Maybe. Something like that. I have a lot of work to do. Open mic tonight? Maybe so. I need to read a few of these new poems, see how they are received. But happy 100 posts!!

So pretty much every creative writing teacher will tell you that you need to READ in order to improve your writing. Study the modern poetry world! Read collections, subscribe to literary magazines, emerse yourself and become inspired. It's true, I know I know... and I simply do not do enough of it myself. So last week I got on amazon and ordered a few new poetry releases. I ordered Addonizio's latest book, Lucifer at Starlight (something like that), Laux's latest release, Facts About the Moon, and Anna Journey's (newish) book, If Birds Gather in Your Hair for Nesting. I thought Journey's would be the most helpful to me, in my current state. I need to read someone who is doing what I NEED to be be doing, publishing their first full collection of poems and working on a PhD (maybe she finished her's already, but while she was writing the book she was in the program). So I've been reading it today, yesterday, and such. The poems are so unbelievably rich in imaga...

Ok, so yesterday morning I was bummed out about that AWP thing. I opened the email (it had been filtered by my spam filter thingie), and I already knew before having to read it that we didn't get in. But I was still wild hopeful, scanning the message, and then - sure enough, there was the most hated word in the entire dictionary, "unfortunately". And after reading that, I closed the email. Damn! But you know what? I wasn't all that bothered! I mean, initially, yes. But I got over it remarkably quickly. You know what I think it is? I'm already moving on to the next thing. I've got my mind on PhD's and the job market. I'm getting nervous for thesis/graduation. I'm trying to work out every little detail in my head. Somewhere during the summer, my gears have shifted a bit. I'm no longer so focused on publishing (although, let's face it, I always will be) and conferences, but now I'm feeling the itch to make the next professional step. And i...

This one's a real blow. Got notification from AWP today that our proposal was not accepted. This seriously sucks. So, maybe I'm being too ambitious, right? AWP seriously was a long shot. I think it is mostly for writers who are more well known, have carved out a place in the literary world for themselves. I'm just beginning, and AWP would have been wonderful, but it is a no go. BOOO! So today, I will try not to think about it. I need to focus on what is next. Which is... well... that part I still need to figure out. The thesis. Yep. My priority MUST be the thesis.